A self-aware, off-center holiday creature feature that leans into comedy, action, and upgraded CGI
Almost thirty years ago, a horror/action film starring Jennifer Lopez (Hustlers), Ice Cube (Ride Along), Jon Voight (Transformers), Owen Wilson (Wedding Crashers), and Eric Stoltz (Pulp Fiction) opened in theaters. It was called Anaconda. As you can imagine, it was about a humongous snake methodically slithering through the Amazon jungle, killing anything and everything in its path. While it managed to triple its initial budget, it didn't earn praises from critic, so it is hard to imagine why anyone in their right mind would want to "reimagine" the 1997 movie. Alas, opening in two days, a new version starring Paul Rudd (Ant-Man) and Jack Black (School of Rock) will be this Christmas' latest release and one of the last movies to open theaters in 2025.
Doug (Black) and Ron (Rudd) had been friends since childhood, making movies in their backyard. When Ron moved to Hollywood to "make it" as a big-time actor, he asked Doug to go with him. However, Doug, having a wife and child, chose the safer route and stayed in suburbia making wedding videos for a living. However, when Ron and Doug's other friends, Claire (Thandiwe Newton; Westworld) and Kenny (Steve Zahn; War for the Planet of the Apes), come home to celebrate Doug's birthday, Ron tells them he has the rights to Anaconda, and they should remake it. Pooling their resources and taking out $47,000 in loans, they set off to the jungle to remake Anaconda.
After chartering a river boat, their first few days of shooting in the jungle seem to be going along swimmingly, with Ron and Claire, now an attorney, starring. However, unbeknownst to them, their boat captain, Ana (Daniela Melchior; Fast X), is hiding a dangerous secret, and thanks to Ana, the group is being stalked by men with guns. Also unbeknownst to anyone, there is a huge Anaconda in the jungle out to kill all of them and eat them for lunch.
Writers Tom Gormican (Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F), Kevin Etten (The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent), and the original Anaconda writer Hans Bauer (Titan A.E.) definitely reimagine the 1997 film in every way. Other than there being a nefarious character and a big snake involved, pretty much nothing is the same about this new version, and that isn't a bad thing. From the comedic elements to the improved CGI snake, this version makes an okay plot at least tolerable.
Rudd and Black are both comedic stars on their own, and when put together, they play off each other well. Their scenes are always interesting, and they seem to have a real friendship that comes across onscreen. Zahn plays the typical dumb guy of the group, a character we have seen from him before, and while I typically like Newton as an actor, she is terribly miscast in the role of Claire. Even though they play love interests in the film, she and Rudd have little onscreen chemistry, and she doesn't seem like the type of person who would go traipsing around the jungle making a low-budget movie.
This updated version of Anaconda is categorized as an action/adventure/comedy, and I would say that is an accurate description. There is some action as they run for their lives while being chased by men with guns and, of course, adventure in the Amazon jungle, but the comedy is what is most relevant. There are some funny moments and one scene in particular, which involved Black strapped to a wild boar, that had me laughing out loud.
If you are looking for something a little off-center and funny this holiday break, Anaconda is your best bet. If nothing else, it is a step up from the original film.
Grade: B-
